Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Pushin' the Plow

Here's a photo I discovered on my camera when I did the last download. It was a total surprise to me. I guess my kids took over my camera on Easter Sunday while I was getting dinner on the table. I am glad they did!
At first, I looked at this photo and just laughed--my kids were having fun and just being silly.
Then, I stopped laughing.....and I thought...
Pushing the plow.
How far would that get you if you were breaking ground for planting?
Not very far.
But how often do I try anyway?
How often do I make MY plan, and just expect everyone and everything else to fall into place? If I put my head down and push, maybe I can bulldoze right on through.

How much harder it is to wait.

Right now, I am in a season of waiting. Our house is on the market and we prepare to move. Closer to home. An exciting time.
According to my plan, we would have had our house under contract about 2 or 3 weeks ago, would have a closing date, would have an appointment for movers to come. Now, we'd be choosing a new home.
Guess what? Nothing is going according to my plan.
Our house is for sale. Each morning I arise, make my bed, clean floors, sinks, toilets. Make sure every dish is put away. At least twice a week, I dust. I do the laundry almost daily because I wouldn't want stinky laundry in the hamper when someone looks at my house. I sweep porches, water flowers and pick off every dead blossom. I strive for perfection.

Then, I wait.

The housekeeping, I do an okay job with.

The waiting, not so much.

You see, I want to push that plow. To DO something.
Alas, there is nothing I can do.
Except wait. And have faith.
"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope." Psalm 130:5
Each day, I remind myself.....God's got this. He has a plan for our family. His timing is perfect, his plan is perfect.
Time to take a deep breath, remind myself of God's promises....
and stop pushing the plow.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Back to Easter for a Moment


Here's my family on Easter Sunday morning. I totally forgot about these photos until I downloaded everything from my camera to get a Mother's Day photo!!
Posted by Picasa

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Mother's Day

Ah, it's that time of year again. Spring. Flowers in bloom. Here in Georgia, already hot and humid. May. The end of the school year. Mother's Day.

I was about 13 when my Mom's mother passed away. Every mother's day after that, my own mother just seemed....sad. Most Mother's Day Sundays at church, she would look like she was fighting back tears. She smiled at our cards, small gifts, and attempts at breakfast in bed....but there was always this sadness behind her smile.

I had no understanding of this.
We were celebrating HER day.
Pampering her.
Showering her with gifts.
My teenage mind thought she should have been really happy on that day.

Twelve years ago, I gained a perfect understanding.
Mother's Day 1998 was my first mother's day without my own mother.
We had buried her less than a month earlier, with no chances beforehand to say goodbye. It had all happened so suddenly.

On that mother's day, all I could seem to do was to look at my own children (ages 3 and 7) and grieve over what they would miss by not having my mom in their lives as they grew up. And what I would miss by not having her wisdom and experience to guide me as I parented them.

Twelve years ago....and still, mother's day is difficult for me. Don't get me wrong. My family always makes my mother's day special. My husband always does something really nice for me (and he takes the kids to buy cards and flowers). I reflect on how much my kids have grown and how proud I am of the adults they are becoming. They all make me smile. But often, I admit, there is sadness behind my smile.

I miss my mom.
Every day.
More than I ever thought it possible to miss another person.
How I wish I could buy and mail a card, send flowers, take her breakfast in bed or take her out for a special day together.

How glorious and comforting the thought of seeing her again.
What a Mother's Day THAT will be!